Jase and I and the kids are leaving in three days to drive out to San Diego! I can’t even begin to describe the elation I feel with going back to the city of my roots (and Jase’s) and getting together with family and friends and long-lost (but not forgotten) taco shops. Especially given the fact that the timing is perfect with this trip being on the heels of what Jase and I have been dealing with lately.

I almost canceled my counseling session today. I didn’t want to start EMDR until we got back from San Diego and until I felt stronger in utilizing the tools, my counselor gave me, in dealing with the pain of my past. I also feel much stronger than I did two weeks ago and I don’t want to jinx that by delving into something so painful right before going on a long-awaited, restful vacation. We didn’t start EMDR last week because I had to process everything that had been going on in my life two weeks prior to last week’s session. My counselor had me try EMDR last Monday, by recalling a painful memory but making sure that memory had nothing to do with sexual abuse. Afterwards, I walked out of her office, extremely relieved that the EMDR wasn’t as scary as I was making it out to seem. I knew it would still be painful but I was grateful to have been eased into the process with a more “minor” pain from my past. Today, I was grateful that I kept my appointment. I learned a couple more things about myself in the way I handle fear with my kids and how that needs to change and I also learned another exercise that I’m really excited to start using, especially while on vacation.

So, at least until we get back from our amazing trip, I have hope in, and through, patience. :)