Zoe (responding to something Jase just mentioned to me and then holding a wet paper towel up to her face and making a random comment, all without taking a breath):
Why was that man smoking? Hohoho, look at me I’m Santa Clause!
In response to Malakai’s fake coughing fit, I say: Kai, I know you’re pretending, please go to sleep.

Malakai: No, I’m not pretending, I have diabetes!
Evidence you’re children aren’t listening to you:

Coming up to the girls after I hear screaming, I say: Who was screaming?

Zoe: I was.

Me: Well, that was very loud Zoe, please don’t do that again.

Zoe: Awesome!
Saying goodbye to the kids as I was leaving the house, I give Kai a hug and kiss and say: Bye, Kai. Please listen to Daddy.

Kai: You too.